Friday, August 18, 2017

FIRST TIME IN FOREVER

Assalamualaikum and hey everyone.

Its been a while since I write a post aite? hm, I'm back because I want to remember this moment of glory hahahahaha. This post might be a little long so please bare with me lol. Macam ada orang nak baca kan. Anyway, I got two stories nak tulis ni. Let's read.

Last night, was a rough night for me. I cried until my tears dried. Hella night for me, I can tell ya. I'm struggling with my inner self telling myself that I'm not important like I think I am. At first, I decided not to cry over small things but then during Isya' prayers tears won't stop falling down my cheeks. Damn, I feel pathetic crying things like this. But when I'm mad about myself, I can't stop myself from crying. Even to my family, I'm not important y'know. But I think itu semua setan punya perangai. So, I need to stop thinking like that. I think I cried more than an hour just thinking that I'm not worth anything to anyone even my family or my friends. I hate myself. I'd choose death over living sometimes. Feeling that the existence of myself is not even appreciate in this world. What a loser I am. Well, lesson learnt from last night crazy night, just cry when you have to because holding your tears just won't make any difference. Fergie said big girls don't cry. But guess what, I'm 21 so its valid to cry I guess especially when you are fighting with your inner self. Don't act tough when you know you're not. Cry when you have to like Dong Man said.


Okay this drama is so good though. Go watch it if you haven't watch it yet. Its fight for my way. Park seo joon is so handsome by the way lol terpesong jap. Back to the topic, please be who you are okay. If you're not okay, its okay to pat yourself in the back & just cry.

Another story I want to write. Hahahahaha this is a good one though. Okay, just now I went out to mamak with my dad. And on our way back home, I saw the first guy I had crush to since primary school. It's the first time in forever I've seen him infront of me. Tak infront lah tapi depan kereta lah jugak. He was holding a bag I think dia baru balik shopping dari kedai runcit kat area rumah dia tu. & when I saw him keluar dari kedai runcit tu my eyes can't stop watching tho. My hearteu melt like an ice under the sun. lol. I was hoping that the traffic light was red all the time. When he cross the street infront of the car, I was like


yes, this gif explain well about how I behave when I saw him just now. If we ever meet each other face to face. I'll probably run away because I'm a loser. I can't even see him infront of me. I might just die because of heart attack lol. Seeing him crossing the street with bag on his hands lol he is so cute. Its first time though nampak kat kawasan rumah dia. And, when the light turns green, my heart just get sad. lol. But, it makes me happy just by seeing him since idk haha I think since primary school. but his dad always wishes my birthday. lol. Its funny that his dad wishes my birthday when I'm still crushing on his son. But he will never know. Whatever.

So, this morning justin bieber drop some cool shizzzz damn you need to listen to his new song though. I think its for Selena. Who else could it be right? Click the link down below if you want to listen to it. I'm hoping that he will drop a new album anytime soon. Because, I missed him so bad.


So, have a nice day everyone. I hope you're having a nice day like me lol. Bye.